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5 Things NOT to Do Mid-Blowjob: Part 1

Posted by Unknown Kamis, 13 Desember 2012 0 komentar

Men and women love head. We love to receive and hopefully, we love to give as well. Camille Crimson has given us lots of useful blowjob tips, and we've also asked men 6 ways not to ask for head. But we haven't had a male's perspective yet! How about for those giving head Thank goodness Brendan White is aboard the GetLusty for Couples team! He has cleverly written on 5 things you should never do during a blowjob. Part two is coming soon.

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Any men out there hate blowjobs? I challenge any of you readers to find a guy that is opposed to receiving oral sex. Go ahead, I'll wait. Yeah, none of you left your chair. And where there is a demand, a supply always follows. So it's not too shocking that magazines and the internet are saturated with blowjob advice. Originally, I was going to write about killer blowjob strategies and techniques because I've run into fantastic tips and techniques. However, it seemed for every legitimate piece of advice was a polar opposite; its inverse, its yang. (Good advice) -1.

I'm of course talking about the absurd, the scary, the painful, the inconvenient and the silly blowjob technique. The theoretical technique that sounds exotic or sexy or creative or fresh but probably should never shake hands with reality. I'll be your blowjob captain today, steering you away from the rough seas of questionable oral sex acts and through the process of elimination, help you hone in on that "killer blowjob."

#1 Say, "no" to choking on frozen grapes

Frozen grapes. Again, not something I've ever experienced. While it might not necessarily feel bad having a contrast of temperature on your penis while receiving oral sex, I have to imagine that this particular technique would make things more difficult for the person giving the blowjob. The logistics of fondling a penis with your mouth does not get easier with half a dozen frozen fruit orbs thrown in the mix. Try and picture that - not very flattering. Any pleasure gained with this technique may be cancelled out by the increased difficulty of the blow job. Plus, would there be the temptation to chow down? It sounds dangerous.

#2 Pop Rocks. Scary!

I've heard this faux technique so many times that I can comfortably call it a "classic" faux technique. The idea is that the popping sensation pop rocks produce when in contact with your saliva will feel awesome on your penis. I argue common sense says otherwise. They are crystallized sugar, which is hard and has edges! You may be scoffing to yourself right now. "Oh Brendan, but they're so small, and they pop! That sounds exciting, stop complaining. You'll love it!" No! The penis is extremely sensitive, especially the head. Rubbing it against small hard and potentially sharp popping things is not A-Okay in my book.

#3 Pepper under the nose? No!

I am of course talking about the pepper under the nose. No. No. Do not ever think it's ok to surprise your partner with a face full of pepper when he is having an orgasm. I've heard whispers that sneezing while having an orgasm feels good, and while I cannot speak from personal experience, I know what it feels like to sneeze while urinating. If that is in any way comparable to a mid-ejaculation sneeze, I'm not interested. Plus there are important things on the face that should remain perpetually pepper free, like the eyes. Interestingly enough, there have been cases of association between sneezing and sexual stimulation. Still, pepper under the nose gets a double veto.

#4 Sweet'N Low semen?

Using synthetic sugar if you don't like the taste of semen: I would actually recommend not swallowing if you don't like the taste, or communicating your concern to your partner. Pouring a packet of Sweet'N Low in your mouth while giving a blow job does not sound enjoyable.

If the person you are kindly providing a blowjob to is not considerate enough to work with your preferences then they are unworthy of your affection! A diet low on red meat, asparagus, garlic, and high on fruits, water, sugar improves the taste of semen.

#5 Fork on the balls

Wanted by no person ever. Well, that's not true, but if you suspect your partner might enjoy this, I recommend getting verbal confirmation first.

Surprising him with a sharp metal object applied to the genitals might have the opposite effect of what you're going for.

This article is by Business Outreach intern and occasional writer, Brendan White. Brendan is a Boston University graduate with a passion for all things historical and also all things sex. A recent Boston transplant to Chicago, Brendan has a musical mind and at one point toured the country. When he's not thinking about conquering feudal Japan, chances are he's playing loud rock n' roll in some laboratory with other like-minded individuals. When he's not thinking about GetLusty for Couples, he's spending time with his exceptionally lovely girlfriend.

What to get in touch with him? E-mail Brendan at brendan@getlusty.com.

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5 Things NOT To Do Mid-Blowjob: Part 2

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Traveling with Sex Toys this Holiday Season?

Posted by Unknown Selasa, 11 Desember 2012 0 komentar

Have you ever traveled with your sex toys and carried them aboard an airplane? With tightened airport security, more and more people are getting pulled out of line and searched. But should this restrict your vacation of sexual adventures? Eric Amaranth, sex coach extraordinaire, believes in adding novelty in your bedroom or hotel room. Eric is here with a humorous tale about his travel misadventures with his sex toys!

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My girlfriend and I went to a wedding this past weekend and decided to bring four of our favorite sex toys with us. Two were vibrators shaped innocuously, one was a dildo with an obvious phallic shape, and the fourth was a glass design that defies brief description. Which is why it’s pictured at right. Read on for the humor and adventure.

We left from Newark International Airport, then made our way through security manned and womaned, as always, by the intrepid TSA officers. All the toys were packed in my luggage. The officer at the viewing screen stopped the line and brought other officers over to get their opinions. I watched with a straight face while my girlfriend giggled quietly after having made it through their scrutiny. Suddenly the principle viewing agent said words to the effect of, “I don’t believe this. Bag check!”

I smiled inside, but kept a disinterested look on my face. They asked me whose bag it was and I raised my hand. They first ran the diagnostic wipes over the handles and inside surfaces, then fed them into a machine. Nothing went off. Next step was the visual exam.

The male officer rifled through my clothes. The toys were at the bottom of the suitcase. He stopped and stared for half a second, then put my things back on top and gestured with his thumb that I could be on my way. My girlfriend was laughing harder by the time I joined her, but quietly. Oh yes, the officer had gloves on throughout the check.

The second run-in was in the return at a southern city’s small airport. Once again, I took the toys in my bag. Said bag went through the x-ray machine and again, the line was stopped. A middle aged woman with vintage spectacles peered at the screen for much a few seconds, I’d estimate four. She didn’t call for viewing assistance, but did request a bag check and said out loud to the officer snapping on nitrile gloves, “It looks like an art piece!”

My girlfriend had once again already made it through and I looked over at her with her hand on her mouth covering up the giggles. The TSA guy ID’ed me as the owner of the bag and did the wipe down, as before, then asked me where the object was that they were concerned about.

I figured it was the glass toy, because the other three would not lend themselves to an art piece characterization. The phallus… the most obvious attention-grabber, never entered the discussion. The agent brought out the figure as seen above, reached over for a collection pan that you’d put jewelry and loose change in, then walked off with my art piece. They asked me what it was. I said art piece, which is technically true.

I heard my girlfriend choking back her guffaws. She’d lost it. I kept my poker face on and waited. They brought it back after a minute, I took it, and they said I was free to travel. Put it back in, got my things, put my belt and shoes back on, and joined my girlfriend.

She laughed about that for the next three minutes. I smiled big and wondered why they were afraid of my toy and realized the spiral going up the “shaft” may have looked like a wire. Anyway, the moral of the story is to keep a straight face, know you have a right to your hot sex toys in your bag, and enjoy the trip because many people’s best sex is on vacations due to the privacy and change of scenery.

Cross posted with permission from Eric Amaranth's blog here.

Eric Amaranth is a sex life coach, working in NYC and globally via video conference, who specializes in women’s and men’s sexuality, basic to advanced sex skills, and high-end sex education. Individuals and couples are guided toward the relationship, intimacy, and sexual enjoyment goals they desire most.

Amaranth believes that for the majority of people, appreciation of ourselves and our romantic partners is one of the best sustainable resources we have to continuously renew attraction, maintain respect, and stay in love with our partners. This bedrock of deep appreciation is founded and reinforced by the combination of loving relationship skills with breathtaking sexual skills. Follow him on Twitter @Eric_Amaranth.

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