actress dance

It's never to late to ponder about all the fabulous things that happened in 2012 (think: GetLusty)! We loved this one so much, we put it back on the shelf as a, "Best of"!

Handjobs should never be forgotten or underrated. What could be more sexy than waking your man up in the morning with your hand gently caressing his shaft? Now, we all know by now how to give an amazing blowjob and why blowjobs are important thanks to the amazingly talented Camille Crimson. But what about the handjob? Tommy Allen, our favorite happily married husband, is here with some advice on the handjob and why it can be the main attraction more often, rather than just a teaser.

* * *

How can something so simple and yet so sexually satisfying as a handjob be so misunderstood? Just the sight of her dainty hand wrapped around your growing and responding sex tool is a visual aphrodisiac.

Too often, a handjob has been relished to the role of foreplay; just a teaser, not the main attraction. I think occasionally, the perfect handjob can be the feature! Below are several recommendations for making your next manual love session better.

#1 Initiate 

Wake up one morning and gently roll him on his side facing away from you. Pull yourself tight against his back with your breasts pressed hard against him. Reach over and touch his lower stomach with your fingers. Rub your hand back and forth just above his dick without touching it. In a few moments he'll have an erection that cannot continue to be ignored.
Have a towel handy and place it where the expected explosion will occur. When you put the towel under him you are telling him that you expect to jack him off until he cums and he should feel free to let that happen. That towel is the assurance he needs to realize he's free to let go and let it happen.

#2 Move slow and steady 

Now wrap your hand around his hard toy. Bend your hand so the tips of your fingers are rubbing against the underside of his penis as your hand moves up and down his shaft in a slow, steady motion. Let the palm of your hand gently glide back and forth along the entire length. Don't jerk, don't beat, just sensually slide up and down and quicken the pace ever so slightly as you feel him tensing.

Just remember he is absolutely enjoying your hand jerking off his dick, but it's the totality of sensations that accumulate to make this a mind-blowing experience. Breathe gently on the back of his neck while pulled up close to him. Push your pelvis forward so he can feel the warmth of your femininity against his ass. Brush your toes against his legs and feet.

#3 Connect with him in the moment

Just before explosion, pull the final trigger. Stop stroking and put your finger in your mouth as if you're tasting what he's offering.

Then caress the head of his penis with your wet fingers from your own mouth. Rub the moisture all over the head so he knows you are sharing your juices with him. The time is right to pick up the pace and finish the job.

Make your strokes more deliberate and intense. Breath heavily with him letting him know you are anxiously anticipating his release.

Once he ejaculates, gently rub the extra juices over the head of his penis while you both relax and enjoy the moment. I'll bet he'll offer you something special in return. Check out Tommy's other article on lovingly playing with his balls, for some added pleasure!

When we heard from Tommy, we were very excited. He's still very much in love with his wife of over 3 decades. And he wants to share his successful skills! 

Tommy has been happily married for 34 years and together he and his wife has 3 grown sons. He is a student of life and love. He loves to learn by watching, listening and observing others. He use his blog to share his observations on life, love and relationships. Love is Tommy's favorite subject. He and his wife have lived, loved, loved and loved some more in Daytona Beach for more than 18 years.

As we move through the holiday season, we need to work a little harder in all the areas of our lives. So many distractions and obligations! Out of all the things you need to make time for in your busy holiday schedule, be careful not to neglect the most important matters. Like foreplay!The simplest of ways to spice up sex is elongated, quality foreplay. Don't just jump straight to cunnilingus or blowjobs, they aren't the only kinds of foreplay, as amazing as they are. GetLusty writer Brittany Meyer is here to give some simple, yet fun foreplay ideas.

* * *

Foreplay simply means any kind of sexual activity that precedes intercourse, so why not try to make it as arousing as possible? Here are 6 kinds of foreplay you should consider experimenting with.

#1 Erogenous zones

Male and female anatomy have different sensitive zones. We all know that the pubic area is very sensitive (that’s why sex rocks) but foreplay concentrates on the rest of the body. People under estimate how sensitive the rest of their bodies are. In fact, many people can have orgasms without even having their genitals touched, if stimulated correctly. The ears are a great area to focus on because they are loaded with thousands of nerve endings. Focus on areas that don’t receive much attention: the under arms, back of the knees, sides of the body, and hips. Try lightly stimulating these areas with gentle touches, squeezes, kisses, and licks. It will feel like you are requesting permission to pleasure them.

For some help with male erogenous zones, try His 10 Erogenous Zones You Should Know.

#2 Try a toy

Sometimes a trip to a local sex shop is just what the doctor ordered! Playing with a vibrator, massager, flavored lotion, or a soy candle can be quite inspiring. One of the most amazing things I can recommend is getting a scalp massager (one of those spider-looking things) and use it on your partner.

They have a gentle touch that can thrill you with anticipation extending to all sorts of nerves. It is also wonderful because it will seem more unpredictable than what you're used to, and the chilly metal can be a wonderful feeling.

#3 Withholding

A popular sex technique is to back off when you know your partner is about to cum and rebuild the orgasm for a more intense climax. Try this same technique with foreplay; try taking it slow, so much about sex is control—try being the one in charge of the pace and just when they can’t take it anymore and they want to begin intercourse, back off and let it rebuild.

This will build on your partner’s anticipation and as soon as you decide to begin, hand over the reins and just allow them to unleash all that passion. You will not regret it.

#4 Talking dirty

There are many shades of dirty talk, from vanilla compliments to kinky, dirty, and smutty. Keeping open communication with your partner will help you know their boundaries. If you still feel uncomfortable, we recommend two approaches:

Start simple by just telling your partner what you enjoy about them. It can be, “I love when you press up against me,” to, “You know just what to do to me.” Depending on the response, gauge how far you can go and how well they respond to what you are saying. The other approach is to dive right in: Say what you have always been thinking – like, “You know how to fuck me like nobody else,” or, “I’m going to fucking make you cum all over my mouth.” Some people will love to be called a slut, and others will find that distasteful. This approach is a little more of a risk if you haven’t done any dirty talk before but can be extremely rewarding for both of you if you hit the right note.

#5 Take it longer

For those of you into psychology and experiments, this will be perfect for you! This technique can be extended over a day or even a whole week (if you so choose.) The idea of it is to drop little sensual hints over a period of time driving your partner wild. It can start with the morning being just an erotic massage before work, but be sure to not to do anything more.

When they are at work, send them a text reminding them of how excited you are for them to get home tonight or how you can’t get them off your mind. When they come home, be sure to go out of your way to touch them when you normally would not, for example; brush by them in the hallway, hug them from behind when they're preparing dinner and sway your hips with theirs, put your leg under their leg at the dinner table. Simple acts that are not necessarily sexual, will get their attention. By the time you two head to bed, their eagerness will have been building all day and they will be ready to go.


#6 Clothes (and lack thereof)  

Some people are afraid of lingerie but it could be a fantastic move for both of you! The most important thing you can do is buy something you feel comfortable wearing—a nice pair of panties with matching bra is something you can enjoy and can actually make you feel good.

Or try a sexy bodice that you love looking at yourself wearing; something that makes you feel sexy is ideal. The more comfortable you get with yourself in these clothes, the better it will be for the both of you. Another form of clothed foreplay is simply, clothed foreplay. You get completely different sensations from being touched when you have clothes on than when you do not. Try playing around with over-the-pants touching or fooling around wearing different fabrics. Sometimes a nice silk robe is a turn-on in itself. Sometimes, you don't need anything too special. Try walking around, carrying on as you normally would at home, wearing a short skirt or a revealing top. Get him/her to notice you. A sheer top with a black bra underneath, a button-down shirt, unbuttoned to show off your cleavage. Don't show too much, let his imagination take over, and don't be intentional – just walk past him a few times. When you sit, arch your back, sitting straight up, and cross your bare legs. Just tease him/her with the sight of you. Another thing you can try to do with clothes (or the lack of them) is a sexy dance. Try moving around to music; make a short routine to turn your partner on. People are turned on by sensual movement on the dance floor so why not try it in the bedroom?

Try any number of these foreplay recommendations, but I do recommend just trying one at a time to figure out what works best for you and your partner. You will probably come to find that a combination  of some is exactly what you need, but hey, have fun with it! After all, it is sex.

Brittany just moved to Chicago after finishing her degree from FSU and arrived with a thirst to learn about everything that has to do with sex. Having been involved with The F-Word, The Vagina Monologues, amateur drag and sexuality classes, she is a very sex positive lady. When she's not admiring architecture, Brittany rocks the mic at stand-up comedy clubs across Chicago. Questions or comments? Get in touch via reply@getlusty.com.

Sex in the shower is sort of like pizza in bed. A great idea that inevitably leads to disaster. Issues like space, how to position one's body, how to avoid broken appendages. It becomes too much to bear and the idea gets abandoned. But there has to be a way to have your pizza and eat it too and our researchers are working around the clock to find a way. In a series with long time friends and sex advisors Eli and Josie, they talk about how to maximize the pleasures of shower sex as well as instructions on what positions best fit what ever type of shower you may have.

* * *

Dear Sexes: Is there a trick I’m missing with shower sex? I mean, it’s WAY hot, but it seems like my only options are (1) in a corner getting leg cramps, or (2) on my knees, which hurts like hell on my knee caps with the tough plastic that the shower is made of. Is this a “try it 'til you figure it out” thing, or a mythical movie type of sex?


However, there are ways to maximize the shower-sex pleasure. One key tool for great shower sex is a set of extra-cushy washcloths. For doggie-style, fold each washcloth in half and put them under your knees. If someone’s sitting on the floor of the shower, a washcloth under the bum can help a lot, too. The washcloths are also crucial for the knees of whomever is the giver of oral sex in the shower. A fun way to have sex in the shower, if you have the room, is to lie down on your back and put your partner on top. Then she can arch her back into the spray of water and you both have easy clitoral access.

Sometimes shower sex is best left short and sweet by making it a quickie or by starting the interlude in the shower, to be continued elsewhere. Try to draw out the foreplay as long as possible (but keep in mind, we’re in a water drought!) by soaping each other up, sliding slippery fingers across each other’s bodies, using the hand-held shower head on each other’s favorite spots, and giving oral sex. Then, just as you’re feeling like you’re about to die if you don’t complete the act, wrap up in towels (don’t worry about drying all the way off, stay wet!) and move to the bed. You’ll be clawing at each other from all the lead-up and you can utilize all the best in-bed positions.

He Said: Agreed! Shower sex is hot! It’s always fun to clean up and get dirty at the same time. Of course, the amount of positions you can try out is somewhat dependent on the type of shower you have. If you have a small, stand-up shower (no bath), your space is probably limited. However, you can actually use the lack of space to your benefit. Position yourself or your mate against the shower walls for extra good pushing/friction. The tiny confines also make for a good opportunity to get a leg high up in the air (resting against a wall, while your hands, or your mate, keep you upright, steadying against an opposite wall).

If you have a full shower (with bath), you really have no excuse NOT to explore all possibilities. You’ve got the room, so you’re as free as your imagination allows. And if you have sensitive knee caps, don’t be afraid to squat it out. Also, don’t forget to use plenty of lube as need be. The water actually detracts from the body’s natural lubrication. And please, no falling! We don’t want any slips causing death by shower sex.

If you want a good laugh, read what people have to say about shower sex over on Yahoo! Aren’t you glad you asked us instead?

Reprinted with permission from from The Good Men Project. Cross post from She Said He Said.

Josie is a writer living in Los Angeles. Though she has a tight circle of female friends, she's always bee a guy's gal. This advice column came about because her best girls kept begging her to ask her guy friends for sex and dating advice on their behalf. She realized that the advice they offered was honest and direct-and completely different than the advice women offered each other.

Eli is an indie-rock musician living in New York City. He loves his football and hockey as much as the next red-blooded male. But when it comes to relationships and love, he's really a true romantic. His friends (female and male) are always asking him for his dating/relationship advice due to his genuine caring, perceptiveness, and honesty. He always calls it like sees it, and usually sees it very well.