actress dance

There are so many ways we get out of touch with our partners. During this time of the year, we can sometimes forget how important it is to re-connect with our partners. In the midst of new year's resolutions, we might forget love. No, no says GetLusty! Thank goodness our friend Devi Ward, our friend and also a Tantra expert, is back with some quick pick-me-up's for couples.

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What’s the secret to ongoing intimacy, in and out of the bedroom? Most couples agree that they feel more emotionally, mentally, and physically connected with each other, after a good romp in the sack. But generally that yummy feeling of mutual connection begins to wane over time, overwhelmed by all the pressing details of home, work, kids, etc.

Feelings of disconnection can also lead to arguments and fights, which can make it more difficult for couples to find their way back to mutual sexual desire and passion for one another. So what’s the secret to couples maintaining a more intimate connection in and out of the bedroom? Below are two quick recommendations:

#1 Take time to breath

It is a well documented fact that when 2 or more people breath together at the same rate and the same pace, their heartbeats will literally synchronize. Wow! Just by harmonizing your breath, you harmonize your heartbeats, creating a powerful emotional and physical connection. Just imagine how you would relate to one another from this deeply connected, mutual experience. You may find yourselves being on the same “wavelength” mentally, emotionally, and physically, leading to more of that life-enriching sensual connection that so many couples crave.

So how do you have this experience on a regular basis? It’s easy:

First step is have the man (or more masculine of the 2 partners) sit in a comfortable upright position on a chair or the couch, with their back supported. Have the woman, or more feminine/smaller partner sit in their lap, face to face. Make eye contact and smile.

Next, place your left palm on your partners chest, and make a heart to heart connection Now – watch the rise and fall of your partners breathing pattern, and match it. Once you have the breathing pattern established, count 21 breaths silently together. Then proceed to alternate or circular breathing, followed by The Ocean Breath. Now watch how your connection transforms.

I invite you to practice this 3-4x’s a week for the next 6 weeks, and observe the radical transformation it makes in your feelings of love, connection, and passion over time.

#2 Express yourself

The number one killer of romance in my opinion? Unexpressed emotions between partners. Small, seemingly insignificant hurts, irritations, even unexpressed desires, can build over time, creating a subtle but perceptible wall of resentment between couples. Nothing deters the free-flowing joy of open-hearted connection more quickly than resentments built from unspoken truths. Find ways to communicate your feelings responsibly, and learn to effectively “process” your emotions as a couple.

I recommend using the compassionate communication platform of Non-Violent Communication, developed by Dr. Marshall Rosenberg.

Devi Ward is an International Authentic Tantra Educator & Sensual Empowerment Coach. Devi has been on a path of Erotic Awakening and Spiritual Embodiment since 1993, studying meditation, holistic healing arts, and alternative forms of erotic expression. Devi has been a Professional Sensual Movement Artist since 1992.

Devi is the Founder of Feminine Emergence and creator of Sacred Erotic Dance™; a Movement-Healing modality that uses The 5 Core Pelvic Movements™, Authentic Tantra™ & Sensual Dance, to produce physical, emotional and spiritual healing in our relationship to sexual and sensual self-expression.

Her first book “Shake Your Soul Song! A Woman’s Guide To Self-Empowerment Through The Art of Self-Pleasure” is out on Amazon now. Also find more about her online tantra tutorials. Follow Devi on Twitter @deviwardtantra and on Facebook.

The first in a two part series on self love, it's time for some honest. GetLusty woman to lusty woman. This topic is very close to myself and the other ladies here at GetLusty. What is it you ask? Today, I'm talking about self love. Your body, your curves. Everything about you. You're gorgeous and wonderful. GetLusty for Couples is all about positive body image, and acceptance at any and every size and shape. We don't condone body bashing. Before anything else you need to love yourself as you are. Crimson Love reports.

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As a woman who is still struggling with my own body image I can honestly say, I know it's easier said than done. The media doesn't help when it's shoving images of tan, taught and "perfect" looking people down your throat daily. The best thing to remember is that those people and images are tools. For advertising. Body acceptance and self love are life long journeys for most people (including myself) so here are some ways to point you in the right direction. Thanks to MadameNoire.com for the pic.

#1 Masturbate

Yes, touch yourself. Touch yourself all over and enjoy it. There is nothing better than getting down right intimate and lovey with yourself. Make yourself feel good, get your endorphins going and take note of how sexy it feels when you're enjoying yourself. Imagine how your man feels when he gets to have you. Lucky guy!

#2 Accept compliments graciously (people mean what they say)

Accepting compliments is an art. Psychology Today wrote an explanatory, "how-to" on the topic that was surprisingly helpful. Overall, when your man tells you he loves you, loves your body and thinks your beautiful without makeup, in your sweats, with your hair up, he means it.

Perfect example, one night in bed I asked my boyfriend why he loved my body. This is what he said verbatim: "It's sexy, it's cuddly, it's perfect. You have great boobs, an amazing pussy, and shapely legs. I think you're just beautiful."

He is not the best with expressing his feelings but he got down to the point. I accepted his compliment because he often shows me he adores me and my body. You can accept and internalize compliments, too! Retaining the positive people in your life helps keep your mind, body & sex life in peak performance. Thanks to Flickr for the pic.

#3 Practice self affirmations

Even if you don't feel it at the moment, tell yourself good things about yourself in the mirror or just in general.

The more you tell yourself these things the more you will start to see it and believe it.

Start with the things you love about yourself and then move to the things you're not so keen on and find things about them you do like.

The more you do this the more you will come to love your self as is and the better you will be to your body.

#4 Stay healthy

Don't remember the last time you went outside for a walk, jog or to play your favorite sport? That's not a good sign. Your health affects almost every aspect of your life. Your body is the only vessel you have for your mind, heart and soul. Treat it well, eat properly, go to the spa every once in a while, practice good grooming habits, get active and let your body do what it was made to do.

With love from GetLusty!

This is a guest post by our very own Crimson.

Crimson is our resident BDSM fetish expert. If you don't see Crimson out dining with her adoring boyfriend, you'll find her reading books on innovation or finance. Crimson is currently finishing off her Bachelor's, she is passionate about food, photography, music and especially sex--and she's not afraid to talk about it. With everyone!

Have story ideas? Get in touch with Crimson at amber@getlusty.com.